What Were They Thinking? Cinderella: Ninja Warrior

What Were They Thinking? is a new meme hosted every Thursday at The Crowded Leaf.

The Rules: Post a book that makes you ask the infamous, “What Were They Thinking?” And explain WHY you are so turned off by the book. Is it the title? Plot? Cover? What don’t you like? This is meant to be fun, so don’t be offended if you go to someone’s blog and your favorite book is their least. One blogger’s trash is another’s treasure. Join in and spread the love to judge!

My Pick This Week: Cinderella: Ninja Warrior by Maureen McGowan 

Synopsis: In this fast-paced story full of adventure and romance, Cinderella is more than just a servant girl waiting for her prince—she’s a tough, fearless girl who is capable of taking charge of a dangerous situation. Seeking to escape the clutches of her evil stepmother, Cinderella perfects her ninja skills and magic talents in secret, waiting for the day when she can break free and live happily ever after. In a special twist, readers have the opportunity to make key decisions for Cinderella and decide where she goes next—but no matter the choice; the result is a story unlike any fairy tale you’ve ever read!

What Were They Thinking? A NINJA CINDERELLA?!?! HAHAHAHAHA! Amazingly ridiculous. The synopsis is all great and lovely until you hit the word NINJA and then it’s all over. I do like that readers can pick their endings, I used to love those books when I was itty-bitty. But seriously, Cinderella as a ninja? How does one do a roundhouse kick in a glass slipper?

What Were They Thinking? Falling for Hamlet

What Were They Thinking? is a new meme hosted every Thursday at The Crowded Leaf.

The Rules: Post a book that makes you ask the infamous, “What Were They Thinking?” And explain WHY you are so turned off by the book. Is it the title? Plot? Cover? What don’t you like? This is meant to be fun, so don’t be offended if you go to someone’s blog and your favorite book is their least. One blogger’s trash is another’s treasure. Join in and spread the love to judge!

My Pick This Week: Falling for Hamlet by Michelle Ray

Synopsis: Meet Ophelia: a blonde, beautiful high-school senior and long-time girlfriend of Prince Hamlet of Denmark. Her life is dominated not only by her boyfriend’s fame and his overbearing family, but also by the paparazzi who hound them wherever they go. As the devastatingly handsome Hamlet spirals into madness after the mysterious death of his father, the King, Ophelia rides out his crazy roller coaster life, and lives to tell about it. In live television interviews, of course.

What Were They Thinking? If you’ve read my recent What Were They Thinking? posts you’ll know by now I can’t stand the destruction of a classic. Fan-fiction is not my thing, and this recent spate of mash-ups and retellings are trying my patience (and my gag reflex).

First is the fact that this novel turns Hamlet… HAMLET… into a young adult teen romance? Ophelia’s all hot and sexy and cool and her boyfriend’s just the richest and the bestest and how fabulous. And then what? She goes crazy? Because that’s the only way I would be happy with this book. Ophelia goes totally nutso at the end. So if it doesn’t follow true Shakespeare it’s wasting it’s time pretending to be a retelling. It would just be a rip-off. Oh wait….

Second let’s discuss the cover, because good for you if you like sexy covers and all that jazz, but I’m pretty sure I can see her underwear. And her ass cheek.

Third, the cover tag: ”First comes love, then comes madness.” Stop it with the trite clichés. Stop. It.

And that’s all she wrote, folks. Seriously, if someone reads this you HAVE to let me know, objectively, how it is. Don’t toil with my emotions.

What Were They Thinking? Wuthering Bites

What Were They Thinking? is a new meme hosted every Thursday at The Crowded Leaf.

The Rules: Post a book that makes you ask the infamous, “What Were They Thinking?” And explain WHY you are so turned off by the book. Is it the title? Plot? Cover? What don’t you like? This is meant to be fun, so don’t be offended if you go to someone’s blog and your favorite book is their least. One blogger’s trash is another’s treasure. Join in and spread the love to judge!

My Pick This Week: Wuthering Bites by Sarah Grey

Synopsis: When a young orphan named Heathcliff is brought to Wuthering Heights by the manor’s owner, Mr. Earnshaw, rumors abound. Yet the truth is more complicated than anyone could guess. Heathcliff’s mother was a member of a gypsy band that roamed the English countryside, slaying vampires to keep citizens safe. But his father was a vampire. Now, even as Heathcliff gallantly fights the monsters who roam the moors in order to protect beautiful, spirited Catherine Earnshaw, he is torn by compassion for his victims – and by his own dark thirst. Though Catherine loves Heathcliff, she fears the vampire in him, and is tempted by the privileged lifestyle their neighbors, the Lintons, enjoy. Forced to choose between wealthy, refined Edgar Linton and the brooding, increasingly dangerous Heathcliff, she makes a fateful decision. And soon Heathcliff, too, must choose – between his hunger, and the woman he will love for all eternity…

What Were They Thinking? By allowing this to happen… again! Stop with the vampire-mash-ups! They were funny when they first came out (Pride & Prejudice and Zombies, Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters) but this is just jumping on the bandwagon (both of the mash-up AND of the vampire varieties) to make a buck. A veritable slap in the face to the Bronte’s. *Shakes head in bewilderment*

What Were They Thinking? A Kiss Before the Apocalypse

What Were They Thinking? is a hosted every Thursday at The Crowded Leaf.

The Rules: Post a book that makes you ask the infamous, “What Were They Thinking?” And explain WHY you are so turned off by the book. Is it the title? Plot? Cover? What don’t you like? This is meant to be fun, so don’t be offended if you go to someone’s blog and your favorite book is their least. One blogger’s trash is another’s treasure. Join in and spread the love to judge!

My pick this week is less on the synopsis and more on the title/cover.

Title: A Kiss Before the Apocalypse by Thomas Sniegoski

Synopsis: Boston PI Remy Chandler has a life any man would envy, with friendship, a job he’s good at—and love. But Remy is no ordinary man. He’s an angel who chose to renounce heaven and live on Earth. So he’s able to will himself invisible, hear thoughts, and speak and understand any language—of man or beast. Talents that will become invaluable to him when his angelic past returns to haunt him…

What Were They Thinking? With a title that rhymes KISS and APOCALYPSE? Far too cheesy for my sensibilities. Also, the cover is bad. Real bad. Like a made-for-tv-movie poster bad. The font reminds me of those witchy books by Kim Harrison (whose covers I also detest) and the dude with the leather trench coat and the sword and the dog, it’s all too much. Watch as he gazes into the distance with a meaningful “I-shall-SAVE-the-DAY” expression on his face….

What Were They Thinking? Bumped

What Were They Thinking? is a new meme hosted every Thursday at The Crowded Leaf.

The Rules: Post a book that makes you ask the infamous, “What Were They Thinking?” And explain WHY you are so turned off by the book. Is it the title? Plot? Cover? What don’t you like? This is meant to be fun, so don’t be offended if you go to someone’s blog and your favorite book is their least. One blogger’s trash is another’s treasure. Join in and spread the love to judge!

This week… I’ll let the synopsis speak for itself…

Title: Bumped by Megan McCafferty

Synopsis: When a virus makes everyone over the age of eighteen infertile, would-be parents are forced to pay teen girls to conceive and give birth to their children, making teens the most prized members of society.

Sixteen-year-old identical twins Melody and Harmony were separated at birth and had never met until the day Harmony shows up on Melody’s doorstep. Until now, the twins have followed completely opposite paths. Melody has scored an enviable conception contract with a couple called the Jaydens. While they are searching for the perfect partner for Melody to bump with, she is fighting her attraction to her best friend Zen, who is way too short for the job.

Harmony has spent her whole life in religious Goodside, preparing to be a wife and mother. She believes her calling is to bring Melody back to Goodside and convince her that “pregging” for profit is a sin. But Harmony has secrets of her own that she is running from.

When Melody is finally matched with the world-famous, genetically flawless Jondoe, both girls’ lives are changed forever. A case of mistaken identity takes them on a journey neither could have ever imagined, one that makes Melody and Harmony realize they have so much more than just DNA in common.

What Were They Thinking?! Okay, I know a LOT of bloggers are excited for this book… but seriously? Teenagers MUST have sex… sorry, must “bump” in order to keep our species from going extinct? I know it’s fantasy but sixteen year olds searching for the perfect bump partner seems a bit much to me. Just the word alone is ridiculous. Bump. Let’s bump. Will you be my bump partner? Hahaha! I truly laughed out loud and gagged at the same time when I read this synopsis.

What Were They Thinking? The Cross-Over Edition

What Were They Thinking? is a new meme hosted every Thursday at The Crowded Leaf.

The Rules: Post a book that makes you ask the infamous, “What Were They Thinking?” And explain WHY you are so turned off by the book. Is it the title? Plot? Cover? What don’t you like? This is meant to be fun, so don’t be offended if you go to someone’s blog and your favorite book is their least. One blogger’s trash is another’s treasure. Join in and spread the love to judge!

This week we’ve got a plethora of stomach-churning baloney, folks. It’s the dreaded, the weary, the ultimate money-making scheme: the cross-over. Whether our “authors” are tv producers, tv celebrities, or musicians, I ask this question: What Were They Thinking?! Just because you can put words down on paper doesn’t mean you should!

Example A: Title: Glee: The Beginning: An Original Novel by Sophia Lowell

Synopsis: Want to know what was happening with Rachel, Kurt, Quinn and Finn before Will Schuster took over the Glee Club? Find out in the first Original Glee Novel, a prequel that transports readers to McKinley High’s hallways before the show began. Each Original Glee Novel reflects the show’s intelligent comedic sensibility and quirky, heartfelt storylines.

What Were They Thinking? Glee is amazing because it’s a TV SHOW! It’s amazing because people SING. Outloud. On the screen. The idea of this book and it’s sequel, Glee: Foreign Exchange: An Original Novel, are just sad. The cross-over from sitcom to bookcom should not have happened. 

Example B Title: Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story by (take a guess?!) Justin Bieber

Synopsis: In this book, Justin tells the story of his amazing journey from small-town schoolboy to global superstar. Stunningly designed and jam packed full of exclusive unseen photos of Justin on and off stage, plus private captured moments, the awesome story of Justin’s phenomenal rise to superstardom is a must-have for any true fan.

What Were They Thinking?! I’ll tell you what they were thinking. Justin Bieber Book = screaming hordes of teenage girls bum rushing the bookstore like it’s the stage with Mom in tow to buy the book with the “exclusive unseen photos.” OMG swooooon. Stop it. Just because someone thinks you might have an interesting life story doesn’t mean it belongs in a book. We ALL have interesting life stories! 

Example C: Title: Sugar and Spice (L. A. Candy Series #3) by Lauren Conrad

Synopsis: Fresh from being betrayed by one of her closest friends, new reality-television celebrity Jane Roberts has learned a few lessons. Most important: know who to trust. And in Hollywood, that list is short. (I couldn’t post the full synopsis without gagging, find it online if you’re that curious.)

What Were They Thinking?! Really?! Now I’m just angry. She’s a REALITY TV STAR and someone thought she should write a series? Of books??? Do you know how many honestly, goodnessly, FABulous writers there are trying to get their original pieces of work published and they get rejected but THIS gets turned into a series? Ack. I can’t handle it.

What Were They Thinking? Romeo and Juliet and Vampires

What Were They Thinking? is a new meme hosted every Thursday at The Crowded Leaf.

The Rules: Post a book that makes you ask the infamous, “What Were They Thinking?” And explain WHY you are so turned off by the book. Is it the title? Plot? Cover? What don’t you like? This is meant to be fun, so don’t be offended if you go to someone’s blog and your favorite book is their least. One blogger’s trash is another’s treasure. Join in and spread the love to judge!

My Pick This Week: Romeo and Juliet and Vampires by Claudia Gabel

Synopsis: “You are deluded, Romeo. Vampires do not have the capability to love. They are heartless.” 

The Capulets and the Montagues have some deep and essential differences. Blood differences. Of course, the Capulets can escape their vampire fate, and the Montagues can try not to kill their undead enemies. But at the end of the day, their blood feud is unstoppable. So it’s really quite a problem when Juliet, a vampire-to-be, and Romeo, the human who should be hunting her, fall desperately in love. What they don’t realize is how deadly their love will turn out to be—or what it will mean for their afterlives. . . .

What Were They Thinking? With ALL of it?! Seriously? I’m speechless! Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters… those were fun! Those were unique and quirky and original! And any classic-with-a-paranormal-twist that got knocked off after by a bunch of different authors seems to be a cheap exploitation of the market. Therefore, to add VAMPIRES (which are overdone now, I might add) to the untouchable Romeo and Juliet?! You must think that this was a good time to jump on the bandwagon, and that makes you a follower, not a leader, and a cliché on top of it all since these books have BEEN DONE several times before. I can’t tell if I want to laugh or vomit. Shame on you HarperCollins. Ugh.

Don’t forget to come by Thursday (10/28) for What Were They Thinking?

What Were They Thinking? She Smells The Dead

What Were They Thinking? is a new meme hosted every Thursday at The Crowded Leaf.

The Rules: Post a book that makes you ask the infamous, “What Were They Thinking?” And explain WHY you are so turned off by the book. Is it the title? Plot? Cover? What don’t you like? This is meant to be fun, so don’t be offended if you go to someone’s blog and your favorite book is their least. One blogger’s trash is anothers treasure. Join in and spread the love to judge!

My Pick: She Smells The Dead by E.J. Stevens

Plot: It’s the beginning of senior year and Yuki’s psychic awareness of ghostly spirits is threatening to ruin her life. Her ability to sense spirits of the dead isn’t glamorous like on TV. SHE SMELLS THE DEAD. Yuki is being visited in her dreams and suspects that her friend Calvin is involved in something strange. Will Yuki be able to save the spirits and herself?

What Were They Thinking? With the title! Smelling the DEAD? Gross! Also, I can hardly read the title on the cover to begin with and I’m not a huge fan of people on covers for some reason, I like objects, so this one bugs me all around.

What’s your pick? Join in by leaving a comment with your link!