Dear George R. R. Martin

Dear George R. R. (if that’s even your REAL name),

I yield. I YIELD you bloody bastard! I can’t quit you. You took a while to hook me with A Game of Thrones. Probably because I knew everything that was going to happen, thanks to HBO. But you and A Clash of Kings downright slayed me with your plot and your mud and your swords and your dragons and your evil kings and shadow babies.

Damn you!

Your books are like crack (I assume, having not actually ever tried crack, that this is what it would be like to be addicted). I CAN’T STOP.

The Seven Kingdoms have too many kings and so many characters and how and why and when will Sansa change her name to Alayne because, let’s be real, that’s really what I’m waiting for.

One more question, if I may: did you REALLY have to make A Storm of Swords over 1000 pages long? How will I ever sleep? Or eat? And what happens if I finish this and the others and am then stuck waiting for you to FINISH THE SERIES for the next 12 years???

I resist your temptations and find myself wanting.

Sincerely,
Alayne (The real one)

6 Comments

Filed under Letters Never Sent

6 responses to “Dear George R. R. Martin

  1. Mom

    Ah, Alayne…welcome back! :)

  2. I haven’t gotten hooked yet (by HBO or the books), but I have it on my to-do list for this year. I’ve only had Game of Thrones on my shelves for, oh, TEN YEARS.

  3. Amy

    He he. I know exactly what you mean! :)

  4. Katharine Ott

    Amen!

  5. I have been reading and waiting and watching since the first paperback copy of Game of Thrones in 1997! I am slogging thru Dance with Dragons now. I love the whole thing, obviously since I have let it consume many minutes of my life. I wish he did not devolve into such graphic nasty so much, more and more as the books go by. It will forever keep him from Tolkien status, who never needed to use the f word or c__t etc… I don’t want to read about men and their potty moments or Tyrion’s sex life in detail! With just some edits he could be a good read for more ages. My local library does have the books in teen section and my oldest teen boy has read them but not seen the HBO which I just bought on DVD. (Jeesh, talk about flagrant gratuitous sex and naked women) But I am a massive fan and will stand in line any day to have him sign my books and squeel with delight! I often pray for his health selfishly wanting him to live to finish MY story. So many loose threads and endings to weave into the end tapestry. “you know nothing Jon Snow…” and where is Rickon and Shaggy Dog? So many questions George!
    (and it was good to wait all these years to start for some people, then they don’t have to wait all those long years in between books (agony) – they can just read the first 5 one after the other!!) How long till 6??? Do you know the guy who reads them on the book-on-cd won the prize for doing the most voices ever on an audio book? I listened as well as read Clash and Storm.
    Just found your blog 2day – love : )

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